- 7:30 am – 3.1 miles
- 8:30 am – .4 miles
- 9:15 am – 4.8 miles
- Total – 8.3 miles
Yes, yesterday’s workout was a bit crazy. Yesterday’s run was my hardest run yet – both physically and mentally.
I started out running a local 5k in the morning – The Dash N’ Splash 5k. Danny and I also ran this race last year. The start line is about 1.5 miles from our house.
I ran it by myself. I didn’t even tell my family that I was running it, and I only told Danny the night before. It was a race that I wanted to do alone, so I could practice speeding up my pace a bit.
All of my runs have been so slow lately, and I tend to run faster during 5ks so I ran it only to try to pick up my pace a bit. It wasn’t my best race, but it wasn’t my worst. Yesterday was very humid out which didn’t help at all.
I wore my new Mizunos for the first time and they were great.
I started out the race pretty good, but too fast, as usual. My first mile was around 8:50, which is too fast for me. I slowed down the second mile and walked through the water station. By the third mile, the humidity was getting to me and I was not mentally into the running. I just wanted to stop.
I ended up having to take walking breaks the last mile because of the humidity and my right quad pain. I was upset with myself for having to walk when I haven’t had to walk during a 5k for more than a year.
I was so upset and just feeling negative. I kept thinking, if I can’t even finish a 5k without walking, how I am going to run a half marathon.
Instead of listening to what my own body needed, I started comparing myself to others – how come she can run without walking and I can’t, or why is she so much faster than I am, or why I am I such a horrible runner?
I finished the 5k in about 32:50. I don’t know my official time yet. So, no, it wasn’t a horrible race for me, but I was mentally exhausted.
My initial plan was to run the 8 miles for the half marathon training plan today. I was going to run the 3.1 at the race, drive to the running trial, and finish the last 5 miles there.
So, after the 5k, even though I wasn’t feeling the best, I drove to the running trail and started running. I ran .4 of a mile and then gave up. I just couldn’t get into it. It was hot. My legs hurt. I was disappointed in myself. I felt like a quitter.
So, I went home. When I got home, Danny asked me how the race went and how my 8 miles went. I admit that I wasn’t very nice to him and asked him just to leave me alone. But when he brought up the 8 miles, it made me feel like even more of a quitter.
I felt like I needed to run those 8 miles so that I could prove to myself that I could run them and I would be able to run a half marathon. So, I left the house to go back to the running trail. I was still upset and didn’t even tell Danny I was leaving the house (which I realize now wasn’t the best idea.) But I was having my own pity party.
I went out to the trail and I ran 4.8 more miles, making my total for the morning 8.3 miles.
I didn’t bring my iPod or any water. I only brought my Garmin. I ran by two water fountains in the beginning of my run, but after that there wasn’t anymore water and it was hot outside. I was dying.
I had to take some walking breaks but this time I was fine with it. Those breaks helped me recharge a bit so I could run again. By the third mile, I was so thirsty I was hoping a stranger would offer me a drink. I was walking a bit more and wondering if I could make it.
Then, comes Danny and the kids driving down the road. He had called my cell phone a few times because I had left the house without telling him and he was worried. But I leave my cell phone in my car when I run, so he came to look for me. Thank goodness.
He pulled over and I told him that I despertately needed a drink. He didn’t have any water but there was a store a right down the road that he went to while I continued to run. I was almost done with my run at the point – I only had about half a mile to go.
He bought me a big bottle of Gatorade and met me back on the road. I tell you, nothing has ever tasted as good as that Gatorade at that moment. I drank almost half the bottle and then I finished my run.
When I was done, I was so happy that I decided to go out and finish up those last 4.5 miles. I was so happy to have ran 8.3 miles. I thought I couldn’t do it and was giving up on myself too easy, but I did it.
Yes, my quads were killing me, and I don’t want to injure myself, but I didn’t overdo it.
I took an ice bath when I got home. Torture but feels so good.
Training for this half marathon has been both mentally and physically challenging for me, and I wasn’t expecting that at all.
When I trained for the 15k, I felt really good and was really proud of my performance during the race. This time, I am second guessing myself and being negative and I realize that I need to change that.
I think the problem is that I am being too hard of myself because I am scared of failing. I run because I actually enjoy it and it challenges me. I feel a sense of accomplishment whenever I finish a run or a race. Lately, running seem like something that I have to do rather than something I want to do.
When I finally finished my run yesterday, I felt really good that I did it – even if it took me a long time or I needed a walk break. I am going to try and focus on the positive parts of running rather than beat myself up over a bad run. Half marathon, here I come!
My legs weren’t as sore as I expected them to be this morning, which is good. It was good to get back to the gym today since I took a couple of days off last week.
Have a great day!