My Hardest Run

Yesterday’s Workout

  • 7:30 am – 3.1 miles
  • 8:30 am – .4 miles
  • 9:15 am – 4.8 miles
  • Total – 8.3 miles

Yes, yesterday’s workout was a bit crazy. Yesterday’s run was my hardest run yet – both physically and mentally.

I started out running a local 5k in the morning – The Dash N’ Splash 5k. Danny and I also ran this race last year. The start line is about 1.5 miles from our house.

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I ran it by myself. I didn’t even tell my family that I was running it, and I only told Danny the night before. It was a race that I wanted to do alone, so I could practice speeding up my pace a bit.

All of my runs have been so slow lately, and I tend to run faster during 5ks so I ran it only to try to pick up my pace a bit. It wasn’t my best race, but it wasn’t my worst. Yesterday was very humid out which didn’t help at all.

I wore my new Mizunos for the first time and they were great.

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I started out the race pretty good, but too fast, as usual. My first mile was around 8:50, which is too fast for me. I slowed down the second mile and walked through the water station. By the third mile, the humidity was getting to me and I was not mentally into the running. I just wanted to stop.

I ended up having to take walking breaks the last mile because of the humidity and my right quad pain. I was upset with myself for having to walk when I haven’t had to walk during a 5k for more than a year.

I was so upset and just feeling negative. I kept thinking, if I can’t even finish a 5k without walking, how I am going to run a half marathon.

Instead of listening to what my own body needed, I started comparing myself to others – how come she can run without walking and I can’t, or why is she so much faster than I am, or why I am I such a horrible runner?

I finished the 5k in about 32:50. I don’t know my official time yet. So, no, it wasn’t a horrible race for me, but I was mentally exhausted.

My initial plan was to run the 8 miles for the half marathon training plan today. I was going to run the 3.1 at the race, drive to the running trial, and finish the last 5 miles there.

So, after the 5k, even though I wasn’t feeling the best, I drove to the running trail and started running. I ran .4 of a mile and then gave up. I just couldn’t get into it. It was hot. My legs hurt. I was disappointed in myself. I felt like a quitter.

So, I went home. When I got home, Danny asked me how the race went and how my 8 miles went. I admit that I wasn’t very nice to him and asked him just to leave me alone. But when he brought up the 8 miles, it made me feel like even more of a quitter.

I felt like I needed to run those 8 miles so that I could prove to myself that I could run them and I would be able to run a half marathon. So, I left the house to go back to the running trail. I was still upset and didn’t even tell Danny I was leaving the house (which I realize now wasn’t the best idea.) But I was having my own pity party.

I went out to the trail and I ran 4.8 more miles, making my total for the morning 8.3 miles.

I didn’t bring my iPod or any water. I only brought my Garmin. I ran by two water fountains in the beginning of my run, but after that there wasn’t anymore water and it was hot outside. I was dying.

I had to take some walking breaks but this time I was fine with it. Those breaks helped me recharge a bit so I could run again. By the third mile, I was so thirsty I was hoping a stranger would offer me a drink. I was walking a bit more and wondering if I could make it.

Then, comes Danny and the kids driving down the road. He had called my cell phone a few times because I had left the house without telling him and he was worried. But I leave my cell phone in my car when I run, so he came to look for me. Thank goodness.

He pulled over and I told him that I despertately needed a drink. He didn’t have any water but there was a store a right down the road that he went to while I continued to run. I was almost done with my run at the point – I only had about half a mile to go.

He bought me a big bottle of Gatorade and met me back on the road. I tell you, nothing has ever tasted as good as that Gatorade at that moment. I drank almost half the bottle and then I finished my run.

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When I was done, I was so happy that I decided to go out and finish up those last 4.5 miles. I was so happy to have ran 8.3 miles. I thought I couldn’t do it and was giving up on myself too easy, but I did it.

Yes, my quads were killing me, and I don’t want to injure myself, but I didn’t overdo it.

I took an ice bath when I got home. Torture but feels so good.

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Training for this half marathon has been both mentally and physically challenging for me, and I wasn’t expecting that at all.
When I trained for the 15k, I felt really good and was really proud of my performance during the race. This time, I am second guessing myself and being negative and I realize that I need to change that.

I think the problem is that I am being too hard of myself because I am scared of failing. I run because I actually enjoy it and it challenges me. I feel a sense of accomplishment whenever I finish a run or a race. Lately, running seem like something that I have to do rather than something I want to do.

When I finally finished my run yesterday, I felt really good that I did it – even if it took me a long time or I needed a walk break. I am going to try and focus on the positive parts of running rather than beat myself up over  a bad run. Half marathon, here I come!

Today’s Workout

  • BodyPump – 60 minutes

My legs weren’t as sore as I expected them to be this morning, which is good. It was good to get back to the gym today since I took a couple of days off last week.

Have a great day!

 

 

11 Comments

Filed under Fitness, Race, Running, Working Out

11 Responses to My Hardest Run

  1. First of all, congrats on finishing the miles, even though you didn’t want to!!
    However, you have to STOP comparing yourself to others!! You are not them and they are not you. Go at your own pace, run because you WANT to run and because you CAN run but don’t worry about whether the race is “good” or “bad”. Heck, I think any run is good because you are out there doing something!! Think of all of those who can’t or just simply don’t. Not everyone is meant to be a competitive runner(holding up hand!!!) but that doesn’t make you any less of a runner than someone else. I am super proud of you for training for the half marathon and regardless of your completion time or how many walk breaks you have to take to finish it, I think you are awesome!!

  2. Nice job finishing your run! I am feeling pretty similar to you these days. In theory I love running but lately it has been such a struggle. For me it came to a crashing halt after I rant first full marathon in May. I had considered training for another in the fall but I’m just not into it. Hearing about you pushing through and finishing your run under the circumstances really helps. Thanks for sharing! Sounds like we both need to remember that we actually enjoy running even when it is tough and sucks.

  3. Teresa @ www.fitinwoodbine.com

    I remember several years ago when I was training for my first half. I had gone for what was to be a 8 mile training run and I barely managed 4. I ended going home to cry to my husband. “What am I thinking!!? I can’t manage 4 miles how can I run a half!!” My husband looked right at me and told me to turn around and finish my run. Best thing I could have done! This was the first time I realized not every run will be my best. I felt like I should see improvement with each step, but running is not like that. Be proud you went back out (tell your hub next time) and finished. I once thought that a 5k was the hardest thing ever! Same with a half, but here I am today a marathoner!!!!! Awesome honest post:)

  4. Deniz

    Congrats on pushing through and getting your mileage! BUT please be careful in this hot/humid weather. It can really do you in! And PLEASE don’t compare yourself to others. You are OUT there running, being active, setting a goal and working full-force towards that goal! That is a lot more than most people are doing. And please give yourself some slack. It is summer weather and it effects every runner. It drags you down. Yesterday morning – I had a long run on the schedule. Did all the prep to try ensure a good run. Was out the door at 5:45 – hoping to beat the worst weather. NOPE – I had to cut it 2 miles short. Just didn’t have it in me. At the end the run – I was sweating so much , I was wringing the sweat out of my skirt. So gross! But you know what – I gave it my best and I will try again next week (and pray for cooler weather:)). Don’t give in to those negative thoughts! You are AWESOME!

  5. Kelly

    Great job getting through it!! I absolutely know that feeling of a horrible run and thinking you will never get through the actual half. I had a terrible 9 mile run and remember how it felt. I never thought I could do a half. I am a bad and slow runner! Take it slow and don’t compare yourself to others. Go your pace and keep positive thoughts… mind over matter. Good luck on the rest of the training, you will do great! When its over all this stress and training will be worth it.

  6. Wow, what a day for you! You might feel down about a run, but by your experiences running and your posts about it inspires me to continue on running :) How sweet your family came looking for you!!

  7. Losinglindy

    you need to remember you just need to get the miles in, there is no time requirement, take it slow and just get them done

  8. Julie

    Great job!! I’ve read (and enjoyed) your blog for a while, but haven’t commented before. I just wanted to after reading this post because I think it’s great that you finished that really difficult run! I hope to run a half marathon eventually, but not training for it yet. However, I really relate when you say that running is hard for you. I feel the same way, which makes what you’re doing so impressive to me. Good luck and keep up the good work! You inspire people you don’t even know! :)

    • runeatplay

      Thank you for commenting! I think it’s great that you’re going to run a half marathon! I think it makes it even more of an accomplishment when running is hard – you really have to work at it but it feels so great when you know you did it! Good luck when you start training. :)

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